“Hannah: Maybe I should call him. I mean, didn’t you say that texting’s like the lowest form of communication on the pillar of chat?
Marnie: The Totem of Chat. And no, the lowest would be Facebook, followed by Gchat, then texting, then email, then phone. Face to face is, of course, ideal, but it’s not of this time.”
I love Girls, it’s a great show that a whole range of twenty-something young women feel like they can relate to – there is awkward sex, cellulite, not-very-nice guys, difficulty finding jobs and paying rent. No one has a shoe closet the size of my house (I’m looking at you, Sex and the City), an unrealistically large and well-situated apartment in New York City (Friends!) or a body that your friends wouldn’t have. No one always looks perfectly made up, everyone owns fat-pants and they all have undignified moments. It’s a reflection of a modern twenty-something woman, and if the ratings of the show are anything to go by, it’s resonating.
I love Girls, but sometimes it’s just so right that I want to throw the nearest pillow at the television. The conversation above, between Hannah and Marnie during the Girls pilot, is about whether Hannah should call her not-very-nice man-friend, Adam, just to make him pay her some attention. He texts her, sometimes. He wants to see her, sometimes. Hannah, however, wants to see him lots of the time, so has gone to her Type A, sorted friend Marnie for advice.
Marnie is the character that I probably relate to the most strongly (with a bit of Hannah thrown in for good measure – I spend a lot of the show thinking “Oh my God I have actually thought that!” when Hannah speaks). Marnie seems to have her life all sorted out – she has a job that she likes and a very lovely (some might say too lovely) boyfriend, but within the course of the show, “Poor Marnie!” became the phrase that filled the room. Her life derailed, spectacularly. She lost her job, lost her boyfriend, fought with Hannah, slept with Hannah’s gay ex-boyfriend (or tried to) and was treated terribly by a creepy artist.
Despite all of her issues, sometimes Marnie is just right. Even when I wish she wasn’t. A few days ago, I talked about meeting my type. A lovely, smart and (in my opinion*) attractive guy. We’ve been talking – non-stop – since I got back from the event I met him at, something that has resulted in lots of butterflies in my stomach and lots of silly smiles at my phone!
If this all sounds positive, don’t get ahead of yourself. We’ve been talking non-stop… on Facebook. So, while we have both admitted to some level of Face-stalking, I am left conflicted as to whether this is a positive outcome at all. As you might be able to tell, I’m not overly certain of my appeal (not without reason!), so I can’t help wondering whether he’s just being nice and entertaining me because he’s a lovely guy. I find him attractive enough to believe he’s probably just too pretty to even look twice at me, but, chatting to Lil about it earlier today seems to suggest that she disagrees. (We have very different types, she pulled out “I can see why someone would find him attractive…”, which is Lil-speak for “And I really don’t.”)
So, I suppose my issue is this: is Facebook really the lowest point on the Totem of Chat? Is it low enough that I should consider talking on Facebook little better than not talking at all? Is he just being a genuinely nice guy or might he actually like me? (I feel like he probably already knows that I have a soft spot for him… Unless he’s completely oblivious, which, given the kind of guys that I like, isn’t completely unbelievable!)
I guess I’m just wondering whether to hold on to the tiny shred of hope that Facebook has given me, or murder those butterflies.
* I love the idea that other girls don’t find the same guys attractive. When Lil whipped out her classic “I can see why someone would find him attractive” on him, it made me happy. I can’t be doing with competition. I just genuinely don’t think that they would notice me, less competition ups my chances, a little at least.