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I’ve spent a number of years denying that I have “a type”. That is a single of “type” of man that I find to be more sexually attractive than other men who do not share the characteristics of my type. I swore that I would date any type of man, if he had the right sort of personality. Was this denial out of fear of appearing shallow and focused on sexual attraction? No, my reasons were all together different. I was embarrassed because my type are not the kind of men that would be considered “classically handsome”. My “type” is ugly guys. However, not just any ugly guys. To be precise, my type is short stocky ugly guys.

My (Physical) Type: Short and Stocky 

I myself am a particularly petite woman (4’11 with a slight frame), therefore I find several short-coming from being with a man who is too tall.

  1. It’s difficult to kiss standing up
  2. Missionary Style becomes Lillian is trying not to be smothered and suffocated by your chest style.
  3. When you and your partner are not of a similar-ish height there are just less positions that are physically possible in the bedroom/bathroom/against a wall/in the middle of a grassy meadow/ on a boat/ etc
  4. It’s difficult to hold hands with a giant

Now I need to make it clear i don’t just like short guys. I only like the ones who are short and stocky ones. Typically (and not unlike many girls) I like men with some sort of muscular definition; particularly in the region of their biceps brachii, deltoid and brachloradialis (hmmm arms).  I sometimes think this might be a biological instinct to produce fit young. If I combined my petite slight DNA with a short scrawny guys our children would have no hope of being tall, slightly athletic or strong. Also skinny guys just freak me out.

Not My (Physical) Type: Tall and Lanky 

There is nothing I find worse than men who are tall and lanky. Saying that I know a certain girl *coughOliviacough* who rather likes the tall-skinny-Indie-I-can-fit-into-jeans-that-are-so-skinny-they-ought-to-be-worn-by-a-prepubescent-girl-men.

The Advantage of having an “unusual” type: 

So my type is unusual. But that is ok. Because, now I have less competition!

Reachers and Settlers:  

So I’m not going to say I’m the world’s most beautiful girl. However, I have an attractiveness that attracts a subset of men. Therefore, I’m reasonably successful at picking men up. I have good self-esteem about my looks and honestly I enjoy being complimented and made to feel beautiful. In my experience guys who are slightly less classically handsome are more excited by being with you than their male model counterparts, therefore are more likely to make you feel good about yourself. In turn  they are often insecure about how they look, and when I insist that I find them sexy I like to think it also boosts their self-estimee.  I’m not sure if this makes me a bad person but I rather like it when guys seem excited by the possibility of being with a girl who looks like me. They say that in every relationship there is a reacher and a settler. Most people seem to want to be the reacher, but I rather like being the settler.

Maybe everyone has “a type”. So I felt it was time to admit to my own. I’m grateful that there are men out there who like short petite blonde “cute” girls. So I hope there is a short stocky guy out there waiting for me,  who is glad that there are girls in the world who like short and stocky. I also hope that there is a tall lanky man out there who is happy that there are some girls in the world who like tall lanky men, and a tall curvaceous girl who is happy to know that some men like tall and curvaceous.

-Lillian

Note: Normally when Liv, Addi and I are interested in men what we find attractive doesn’t line up at all. This is really one of the great fortunes of life and our friendship.

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